The attack of the onions

So everyday shiz niz is willing the poll right now, so here you go :)

As many of you might know, I loathe onions. The smell, the taste, the texture, the whole smelly thing. If you gave me the choice to starve or to eat an onion, I would die. My family thinks its SO hilarious to tease me about this. Ha, ha. The joke never gets old!! :)

So imagine how happy I was when not only did I walk into the office to hear that freaking alarm STILL beeping (Yes, if you remember from a previous post, it's the SAME alarm. It's been months. SO FUN!) but to see a lovely breakfast delivered on my desk. Bagels, muffins, fruit... the usual. And if that wasn't fun enough, I got to encounter a platter of onions. Yes. You read that correctly. They sent over a PLATTER OF ONIONS.


Of course I took a picture of it. How else would you believe that there was a PLATTER OF ONIONS?!?!?!

Ew. I want to vomit.

I can still smell it. Do you people really eat onions in the morning on your bagels?? I shouldn't complain, we have a breakfast on Wednesday where the people requested HARD BOILED EGGS. Seriously, who do I work with?? Why on earth do people want these smelly things in their meetings?!?!

Ugh. Gross.

...Hope you're having a happier Monday than me! :)

Old Like Us

I'm 27.

Granted, I may have a pair of gray plaid pants my sister calls my old man pants. I may like to rock a beer koozie over the summer that says "Sexy at 60!". I might have a "bad hip" and I may occasionally like staying in Friday nights and passing out early, but I'm 27. 27 years young.

I'm proud of that. I celebrate my birthday every year like it's the biggest party I'll ever go to. I don't think I look old or young for my age, I think I look like what a 27 year old should look like: a fun and (surprisingly) overall happy girl.

Maybe my job has made me negative. Maybe I don't smile all day long, and maybe every now and then I get called "ma'am" by a caller, but one thing I am not, is old.

There is this one crazy lady in payroll loves telling NG that I'm old. What she means to say, is that I've been with the company for a while and am no longer "new". I'm "old". However, when she says it, it always makes me sound like I'm some wrinkly old lady.

Crazy lady to NG:
"Oh, you're still new to the company, holiday parties would excite you. You're not old like Ruby and I."

"When you're old like us, you'll understand"

"Right Ruby?? She's not old us like!"


Listen you old bat, I'm not old. If you're going to call me names, call me mean. Call me rude. Call me dumb. ...Or maybe just say "when you've worked here as long as Ruby has". Just whatever you do, don't call me old!

...or maybe I am. I really do love those plaid pants. AND that old man sweater my sister also likes to poke fun of.

Hey N&J, move over and pass the yarn. Time for this old lady to start knitting. ;) LOOOOOOOOOOOVE YOU BOTH! :) :)

Bill is leaving...

...The mail room that is.

Did I just scare you? Because I'm pretty sure I had a mild heart attack today.

Bill and I started a month apart from each other and pretty much have been each other's sidekicks during the past 5 years. Sure some days we hate each other, some days we bring each other coffee, and other days we complain about work or chat about our weekends. So imagine my surprise when Bill told me he got a new job.

A normal person would congratulate their friend, I on the other hand, called him a bastard.

How dare he think he can leave me behind at this company!?!?

Then, after almost getting yelled at by NG for "being rude", (well seriously, he would be a bastard if he left me!) I learned that the position he applied/interviewed for another department, had actually accepted him. Had I not been so caught up in the utter shock, I would have remembered that 2-3 weeks prior I had coached him on what to do and say in his interview. Apparently someone thinks I apply to a lot of jobs and know what I'm doing. ;)

My little Billy impressed the right people at the company and now is off his hourly wage, working for the miserable Jim, and has a brand new salary position in the IT world.

.....

Yes. You read that right. He now will work in the IT world.

WHAT?!? This is the boy that calls me and asks me how to set up a meeting in outlook. The same kid that asks me how to spell words because he "can't be bothered with spell check". The same bastard that didn't know how to COPY AND PASTE a picture into an email. Is this seriously a joke??!

Now, Bill is my friend, so I'm allowed to be all what-what about this and it's perfectly acceptable. And honestly, I am reallllly happy for him. I know how miserable he was, and how he really disliked working with Jim. But let's think about the real issue here: how this affects ME!

Will he be able to sit and have breakfast with me?
Will he still bring me coffee?
Will he be too busy to email me funny things from failblog?

I mean, really! these are the important issues we must find out!! Because of this, NG decided to check out our company's website just to see if something had been posted about Bill's mail room job. Nothing yet, but what we did find was there is an executive assistant position available. NG started asking me millions of questions, pretty much asking if I thought she should apply.

"Why yes, of course! You're totally qualified!"

What she doesn't know is that you have to be in your position for a year before you can apply for another department. I'm not sure if that's a common rule in companies, but apparently that's how it is at mine. I'm hoping she applies and gets shot down. Again, I know, that sounds terrible, but HI, let's focus on me again. I can't have another person LEAVE ME BEHIND. And if anyone is getting that E.A job, it's me ;)



BILL IS NOW A NERD!

Another day, another flower arrangement?

Another day, another flower arrangement?

Today flowers were delivered for me. It was weird, it came in a box from our flower vendor. I'm the only one that places these orders, so what the heck is this? I begin thinking of why I would be getting flowers. Nothing exciting is happening in my life, well, besides becoming an auntie, of course! but I don't think I would/should get flowers for that! It's not "Professional Admin Day", it's not my birthday, I don't have a man in my life that would be so inclined to send me flowers. My sister sends me flowers...but again, she just had a baby, she's a little busy for that!

After about 3 minutes of trying to guess, I tear open the envelope and get to the card. "Very belated welcome to our company, Ruby! You deserve some flowers."

A what what.

I turn and see NG grinning ear to ear. "Did you order these?"
"Well I was talking to BossBoss about how you're the one to always order new hires their welcome flowers, and how I thought it was so unfair that you never received some when you first started"
"You ordered me flowers?!"
"Yup. I was also the one to point out to BossBoss that you've been here for 5 years, too. If nothing else, Ruby, I appreciate you and want you to stick around."

First off, did I call that or what?!? I knew she told Bossboss! And secondly, aww. That's actually really sweet. It's amazing how we tend to forget how a simple nice gesture can really mean a lot to one person. Either NG is being really nice or she's up to something. I haven't decided which yet.

As I was getting my flowers all pretty and getting them some water, it dawned on me.

"Hey NG... did you use my corporate credit card to buy these?" (that's what we use when buying welcome flowers, boxes and lunches for employees)

"Uhh, yeah. I wasn't sure what else to use... BossBoss said to 'just charge it to our department' and I didn't know what that meant."

:/

So technically, I bought myself my own flowers. Still counts as getting flowers at work, right??

Happy Hour

So... I did something yesterday that I haven't done in a really long time. I got talked into going out for Happy Hour with some co-workers.

And... dare I say it??? I had fun. A lot of fun actually.

I mean, that very well could have been because of the free beer, (I love it when boys buy me drinks!) but it was fun to actually be outside of a work environment and just chat with people I see every single day.

The best part is I know all of them, but since I had skipped out on so many happy hours, I felt a smidge awkward. And since I get out of work earlier than all of them, and was still going to my gym class, I wasn't really looking forward to showing up by myself.

But NG had a brilliant plan. She's still obsessed with "meeting people because she's new" (yeah that needs to end, you've been here a couple months now) But she wanted to go, only if I was going. She's still dating that guy in accounting, and she was afraid if she went, people would think she was only there because he was. Um... isn't that why you're going though??? So since she didn't want to be just hanging out with him and have people talking, she said she'd pick me up on the way and that way we'd be together and we'd stick together all night. And she'd also buy me a beer. Oh fine, I'll go.

So I went. People seemed genuinely happy that I was there, they poked fun how at me about how it's funny to see me standing since I sit all day long and how they're all impressed I went to the gym first, before coming out.

What they don't know is that I was running around like a crazy woman after the gym and uh, yeah, just sort of rinsed off, attempted to fix my gross hair, threw on jeans, sneaks and a shirt and hopped in NG's car.

Yeah, be impressed I'm here, I didn't even shower for any of you :) I am so disgusting. Then a drunk male co-worker (Not Bill - he skipped it, because that's what we do! It was ironically, someone NG and I actually call Dreamy) called me beautiful and that's where I called it a night.

So the point of my story is, my co-workers all seem to love me and they have proven to me that I don't need to shower for work, or drinks. Point noted!

Begonias and Babies

So my meeting today never happened. I'm not even that shocked. BossBoss's excuse was that she triple booked herself during our meeting time.

TRIPLE BOOKED? um... that's the why we use outlook, so you literally look at your calendar while trying to figure out when you're free. Oh, you got a meeting request from 3-4pm, but your calendar says you're meeting with Ruby? That means you're NOT free, aka, DON'T accept the request. And not only that, don't accept TWO other meetings! lol, was is wrong with her?!

Ugh.

It hasn't been rescheduled yet, so I'm not even sure when I'll find out what exactly is happening. But don't worry, once the meeting does happen, you know I'll let you all know :)

On a strange, weird, and kind of ridiculous note, I got a "present" from my boss today. She came out to my desk to tell me that a little birdy told her this year was my 5 year anniversary with the company. I was gifted a certificate of appreciation along with a blanket with my company's logo on it.

A what what? First off, let's not even point out the fact that my anniversary was in September. Second, that little birdy was totally NG and third, a BLANKET?? with the company's logo? Why the F would I want that?!?! What a terrible idea for a present!

She even apologized for being a terrible boss and forgetting to give this to me early. Uh huh..

So what did I do? I gifted myself a beautiful bouquet of begonias that was for a huge meeting we had today (that they were just going to throw away), tossed the certificate and blanket in the trunk of my car, drove to my sister's, poured myself a glass of wine and snuggled with my nephew.

...oh yeah, did I forget to mention why I didn't get to blog a lot last week? My sister had a baby boy! He turns one week old tomorrow <3 Look at me, I'm a such a proud auntie. I practically turn to a puddle of goo just typing about that little boy! Argh! I hate people! My boss sucks! I hate my job. Ahh.... that's better, that's the Ruby we all know and love ;)

Kathy the quitter?!?

Kathy quit.

Ho-ly shit.

And now it's time to back track. I've been keeping a secret for a while. During my "review" with my boss, she had been asking me how working for Kathy was going. As you may remember, she graded me "below average" with just about everything, including all my work outside out reception. During this time I told her that Kathy's boss made me meet with her every Wednesday for a "meeting", and in our last meeting she wanted me to start taking over more responsibilities on the travel side on her department. She also wanted me to sit in a vacant cube from 930-12, then 2-4. The mini break from 12-2 was so I could cover NG's lunch, and NG could cover mine, and so I could handle the lunch that goes through the reception desk.

While this could have theoretically seemed like a good idea and maybe open an opportunity for me to get out of reception, I saw it as people passing off more of their work for me to do. And I mean really, why do I want to do everyone's busy work and data entry? No thank you. Plus, I'd still be rocking the title "Receptionist" so.... yeah. That doesn't help me at all.

While explaining what I was told, BossBoss immediately interrupts me saying, "No, you won't be doing that". Thank you!

Then she informed me of a little secret. Things were changing and the travel department was going away. There's no reason to start doing their busy work, when by the end of December their department won't exist. ....good point. So she told me to send an email to Kathy's boss, copying her, asking what I'd be doing, and then BossBoss was going to swoop in and be like, NOPE! not happening!

Before I sent the email, Kathy's boss ran over to me asking me how my review went, and what BossBoss had said about me working more hours for her. Ahh shit... well... she said no. Ahh this is awkward now, because I know her department is going away, but I can't say anything. So I sit there in her office while she rants and raves about how ridiculous this is that BossBoss won't be let me help and telling me I should look for new jobs because clearly no one is looking out for me here, I just there and take it because I don't know what else to do. This is also the same woman who told me in one of our meetings you have to "fake it to make it" in the corporate world. Basically, be fake, smile and do what people say, and that will get me where I want in life. Um, that is the WORST advice I have ever been given. So yeah, imagine how fun it was for me to sit there and have her spazzing out when all i could think of was she better start faking it to make it because she's on the way out. ha.

Fast forward to last week. Both Kathy and her boss got told that their department is disappearing. Kathy got offered another position in my department, and her boss got offered a shitty job in HR.

Kathy rejected the job and gave her notice today.

Since her department only has 2 months left, she'll finish up her work and at the end of December and will be gone.

A WHAT WHAT?! While I'm not really fond of doing someone else's job, I don't want her to leave the company. I know I complain (that's what I do!), but I genuinely really like her. And if there's still going to be meetings in the company, which we all know there will be, why does Kathy have to stop doing them? ...What the hell is going on!

So what does this all mean for me? I have absolutely NO idea. BossBoss hasn't told me anything else. Tomorrow, BossBoss, Kathy, NG and I all have a meeting at the end of the day. I originally thought it might be about me taking over meetings, but we all know she thinks I'm not qualified. Maybe NG will take them over. Maybe there won't be anymore food in meetings. Maybe I'm getting a promotion. Maybe I'm getting fired. Who knows!

Guess we all have to wait for tomorrow to find out. Well maybe, this is BossBoss. She likes to cancel meetings and avoid topics all together.

So my trusty readers, what do YOU think is going to happen?