Update!!

I don't know about you, but I have been DYING to know what's been up with Bill and his girlfriend. So I finally had the opportunity to ask him what was going on.

So today, he calls me to ask me if the wording on his email was "ok". I immediately think it's an email being sent to our boss, but nope, it was going to a girl (that he left nameless) who he "hung out with last summer, but wanted to get his Hangover DVD back" (A little history for ya, him and his GF broke up briefly over the summer, and he dated someone else)

Um.... random. Seems kind of weird to ask for a dvd back after 8 months. But who cares about that, this is the perfect timing to ask what's going on with him and his girlfriend!! I immediately throw his "problem" to the side and play dumb.

Me: "Wait, I thought you were seeing someone else"
Bill: "Yeah, that's over..."
Me: "What??? When did that happen??? Didn't you just get her flowers for Valentine's Day?" (hahah I know, SO sneaky!)
Bill: "Uh, no.... she got them from someone else...which was part of the problem"
Me: "Is that's why you broke up?"
Bill: "No, I was just tired of waiting for her to make up her mind, I felt like I was being used..."
Me: "I'm sorry" (trying to think of something smart to say) "Well... at least you seem to be doing ok, better than me. I don't see you crying at your desk like I was doing..."
Bill: "HAHAHA, you're right, you were a MESS!!!"


Awesome. Thanks for spinning that around back at me. What a jerk.

Anywho, from what I gathered from my investigating, it looks like Bill and Sarah have officially called it quits (which I should have known, since I haven't seen them together in a while...) I'm going to jump to the assumption that it's because she is, uh..... MARRIED.

Yes, I may have cried at my desk and been a hot mess, but at least I won't ever be the girl that fooled around with a co-worker but ended it because I was still legally married.

Boom.

Happy Valentine's Day?

Happy Valentine's Day my blovers!

I've had a great Valentine's Day so far, and it's only getting better! I got flowers delivered to work from my sister, and I bought myself my own box of chocolates which I'm currently devouring. And of course, I went to the gym after work, so I don't feel bad about inhaling this entire box of Russell Stover.

So this morning, I was sitting at my desk when Bill arrived. We started chatting about valentine's day, specifically about how many flower deliveries there would be today. We decided to keep a tally and see if the mail room or lobby received more through out the day. Before Bill left to start his day, I asked what he had planned with his girlfriend and he told me nothing. Didn't get her anything and they weren't really doing anything for it. His girlfriend, Sarah, also happens to be a fellow employee. It's a little on the hush hush side, not that it's forbidden for inter-office dating, but they just like to keep it on the down low.

But of course, I know everything, so I found out all about it. I started to figure it out when I saw them leave every afternoon to get coffee. At first I didn't think anything of it, but it started to catch my attention. Also because I had seen her come into the office with her little boy, and I thought when she first started she wore a wedding band. So naturally, I pry information out of Bill, and yup, turns out she was married, but isn't anymore.

So anyways! As I'm watching all the bouquets arrive, and calling all the recipients, I notice that there is a bouquet for Sarah. Bill! You sneaky sneaky liar! You did get her flowers! So I give Bill a call to let him know his lady love had gotten to flowers - and to poke a little fun at him for being not wanting to tell me before, until he tells me he didn't get her flowers.

A what what? Then who did!?!?

Well, as you probably know, a perk of being a receptionist is that we can read cards! what? did I just say that?? Ok, maybe I don't read all of them, but I definitely admit to definitely reading some - and this one was definitely being read.

"Happy Valentine's Day to my beautiful wife. Love Ted"

Again - a what what?? SHE'S MARRIED?? This must be a joke, right?? After reading this, I really can't tell, so I don't say anything to Bill. I mean, it could be a number of things and it's not really my place to say, or admit, that I read her card.

The day goes on and both him and his lady love seem totally fine. Maybe there wasn't drama and I'm just a bitch who read the card and assumed something. Maybe she is married and Bill doesn't care. Maybe Bill should just tell me what the heck is going on!!!

I'm hoping going to find out tomorrow what the dealy-o is. Until then it's another chocolate for me!

Oh - and I received 20 bouquets today - including 1 for me from my sister :)

Nothing wrong with a little extra love <3

Weeble Wooble

Let me just put this right out there. I'm going to hell.

Weebles do wooble, and they sure as hell do fall down.

Once upon a time, there was a lady who was called weeble wooble. She was also a smoker, so she traveled back and forth from her desk to outside, passing through the lobby - and the lovely receptionist. She was a short, rather plump lady, who had one characteristic that made her stand out from all the other smokers.

She walked with a "limp".

She walked as if she couldn't bend one knee so she kept it straight and would swing it around in front of the other one, causing her to rock up and down when she walked. The lovely receptionist would get a good laugh, and would always tell her friends about said "weeble wooble". One day the part time receptionist (who this receptionist misses dearly, and while she likes the new current receptionist, she's just not the same as Eric.). Anyways, one day both receptionists were at the desk and thought of a brilliant plan. They would record weeble wooble and show all of their friends how funny of a walk this lady had.

Oh how they laughed and enjoyed themselves as they recorded her in total secret. They showed no one in the office. And while they wouldn't laugh right in this lady's face (because they really aren't mean people) they always smirked at each other when she was around.

Until one day when she was gone.

Did she get fired? Did she quit? Had she gone to HR and placed a complaint about how she felt she was harassed by those lovely receptionists? No one knew! She was just gone.

A couple days later, the office manager and facilities department had a meeting about adding a button to the front doors in the lobby for them to automatically open for handicap people. How totally random.

Or was it?

Turns out weeble wooble had fallen and hurt herself
pretty badly. And when her family rushed her to the hospital, the doctors hadfound the reason she was walking with a limp.

They FOUND A TUMOR IN HER LEG. Yes, you read that correctly, I was - I mean, the lovely receptionist - this is a story after all, was making fun of a lady who turned out to have a tumor in her leg. The poor lady wasn't walking like that because of a bum knee or anything like that, the TUMOR was preventing her from walking correctly.

But wait, there's more.

Doctors had to AMPUTATE her leg. She now is confined to a wheel chair. She's back at work, high on drugs. The lovely receptionist makes sure to be polite to her, even chat her up every now and then.

But who are we kidding, she's going to hell.

And by "she", I mean me.

The Glazed Donut Girl

You know the heavenly smell when you walk into a donut shop? More specifically, the yummy smell of sugary glazed donuts. If you don't, you need to go to your closest Dunkin Donuts IMMEDIATELY.

Today I got the pleasure of smelling this deliciousness. Only problem is that I'm pretty sure it was actually a woman's perfume.

She came into the lobby, told me who she was there to see, started signing in the guest book when I literally started drooling. I get a whiff the most pleasant aroma that has ever entered the lobby and there I am, drooling, staring at this poor lady. When she was finished signing in, she flip her hair back and walked to the couch and the smells follows her.

I'm tempted to ask her what perfume she's wearing, or if she just came from Dunks. She didn't smell like coffee, so I really think she has a perfume that actually smells like glazed donuts. Unfortunately the person she was meeting met her rather quickly and she was whisked away into the main building. I immediately started to google donut perfumes and shockingly, get no lead on what scent she was wearing.

I call Bill and tell him about the glazed donut woman. He tells me I'm crazy.

Luckily for me, I was still at my desk when the lady came back and signed out and the glorious scent of glazed donuts was back! I've determined she couldn't have just gone into a dunks to get this smell, because there's no way it would have lasted this long. Right?? (although have you ever been to a Panera? that smells sticks with you FOREVER!)

I barely even eat donuts! I can't recall the last time I even went into a Dunks and ordered a donut. But that's exactly what this lady smelled like. A delicious glazed donut.

Maybe I really am crazy...or maybe I've just been stuck smelling Smelly OCD lady for far too long. Or maybe I should just go buy some donuts...