UPDATE!

So... remember me posting about how I changed Bill's photo on the intranet to a glittery pink unicorn? Well......... today he found out his picture had been changed.

NG, as much as I like her, told Bill that she liked his photo on the site. Him, thinking it was his picture, got all proud and was like, ya? you like that? So, needless to say, he pulls up his information and BAM! there's a pic of a unicorn under his name.

Now, I'm sitting at Kathy's desk while this is all happening. I get rudely distracted from my lovely spreadsheet I'm working on, by a pen flying at my head.

"I'm mad at you"

Having no idea what he's talking about, I reply "Uhhh, why?? I responded to your email...."

"Do I look like a pink glittery unicorn to you?" To which, I start laughing. "I know you switched my photo!! you're laughing, you're so guilty!"

"I'm laughing because that's hilarious, why would I switch your photo??" I type his name into the system and pull up the photo. Our co-worker Tim comes over and, along with me, starts laughing.

"RUBY!! I know you did this, you're doing it to get back at me because I always switch your photo to Scarlett Johansson" (Yeah... I'm not sure why he does that either....kind of creepy)

"Bill, who told you your photo was switched?"

"NG..."

"Ever think it was her?? She does sort of like you" (She brought him donuts one day, and I'm trying to convince him that NG likes him, haha! She doesn't, but it's still amusing, at least to me)

"I can't believe she would do that! She's been here a week, she's got balls! Ohhh, it's so on between me and her!"

....And that my friends, is how evil I am. Of course I was the one to change the photo. Would I admit that? Never! Would I throw someone else under the bus to save my butt from an angry Bill? You know it!

Stayed tuned to see what happens to NG.... any thoughts?? Think Bill will "get even?"

The New Girl (NG)

I've been training the new part time receptionist for a week now, and I gotta admit, she's good. In fact, she's so good, she's making me look really bad. She's polite, cheerful, cares about how she looks at work and I almost think she actually enjoys what she's doing. I know, what is wrong with her!? However, she *IS* just out of college and this is her first job in the real world. Sigh... I remember those days, being so naive, happy to just have a job. I wonder how long she'll last being so perky. I give her 2 months. TOPS.

"GOOD MORNING!!!! :) :) :) :) Thank you for calling our corporate office, how may I transfer your call?? OH! Of course, I'll transfer you right away!!!!!!!! :) :) :) Thank you for calling and have a GREAT day!!!!!!!! :) :) :) :) :)"

See? She makes me want to gag. I'm pretty sure I was never that happy when I first started working as a receptionist. And seriously? wishing everyone a great day?? That needs to end immediately.

As training continues I do think NG will break soon. I don't see her staying the happiest person ever. Just today she asked me WHYYY do people keep calling about jobs and asking if we're hiring??? Can't they just go on our website and figure it out??

...what was that? did I hear a smidge of "why are callers so dumb" in her voice??

NG: "Ruby, can I ask you a question?? If you were looking for a certain company in a certain location, would you google the number first and attempt to find it on your own, or would you call that company's corporate office and ask the receptionist?!" Ruby: "Personally, I would look it up online" NG: "EXACTLY! I've gotten so many people asking me to look up locations in their area...I mean, I'm not complaining about my job, it's just seems like that would be the more sensible thing to do"

...I'm sorry NG, are you wondering why people don't use common sense?? I like this girl!

She's learning quick that people are dumb. She'll soon be wondering how she ever got sucked into such a craptastic job. She's already offering to help me with all Kathy's work, and wants to help with all my other receptionist related duties.

Never fear, young grasshopper, I'll teach you everything I know. And then I'll sit there and watch you do it all for me! I'm beginning to think this might be one of my greatest ideas ever! ...well that, and thinking I should turn her into a mini me and make her cut the shit of being overly happy while at work :)

Mission: accepted.

(Below, a pic of NG...yeah, that needs to end)

What A Cry Baby!

I cried at work today.

It's not the first time, nor will it be the last. For once it wasn't because of a mean caller or my boss being a total douche. And if you can believe it, it wasn't because I was on vacation last week and now I'm back at work. (I apologize in being so busy and not keeping up with the blog, but I'm back..again.. and ready to entertain you all!)
Anyways, back to the story. It's my first week back from what is actually my second week long vacation (woohoo!) and I came back to a new part time receptionist coming in at 9:30am for training. That means I sit with this girl ALL DAY LONG. I swear, for the past 3 days at work, I have talked for the whole 8 hours of my shift. It's good, the girl asks a lot of questions and is right out of college, so she's super excited and eager to learn, but dude... I just got back from vacation. Give me a minute.

Not to mention, this week in my personal life is beyond hectic. My week started with me waking up at 4:30am on Monday morning to catch a ride home with my Dad from my parent's summer house and back to my apartment so I could get to work for 7:30am. Naturally, I decided it was a great idea to go to a baseball game after work and stay out until 11:30pm. Tuesday I had to wake up early to shower, then went out after work (gym, met up with my parents, did a lil shopping for the party and met up with a friend) and was out until 1am. Which, yeah, not the smartest idea being out that late but oh well! Oh and what's this party I"m taking about? Oh nothing, I'm just hosting a huge party for my sister this weekend, and I've been scrambling around trying to get everything together. (Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know I could have done it on my vaca...buttttttt I didn't :P)

So, I'm tired. I'm really tired. I think I've gotten a combined total of 10 hours of sleep in the past 2 days. I've been living off caffeine, willing myself to stay awake, attempting to be the sweet (ha!) girl that I am while training the new girl, do Kathy's job because of course, even though I'm training someone, of course I still have to do manage to do her work as well, get stuck in a meeting with Kathy's boss where she rates me on my performance each week and pretend to act like I'm happy to be back at work! Sounds awful, right?!

So, yawning, I have to deliver food to a meeting. I throw the desserts on the cart, and while I'm opening a door to head into the lobby, all of a sudden the worst thing that could possibly happen, happens. The stupid cookies slide off the cart and PLOP, right onto the floor. I stand there not knowing if I should laugh, cry or just give up and go home. If you remember, I ate food off the floor of my office, and I stood there for a second debating if I can just throw it back on the platter and serve it. Ohhh stop, you would debate it too!

I bend down to start picking up the mess and Kathy comes running over. And thisssss is where I begin to lose it. Trying to hold back the tears, Kathy tells me everything is ok, don't worry about it, blah blah blah. Of course another employee comes over to help and I just stand up and walk into the bathroom.

And I cried.

Like a baby.

Over spilled cookies.

...And a broken nail as a result of trying to catch the damn thing.

So what's a girl to do? While rocking the obvious "yup, I just cried" eyes, I delivered the rest of the stupid meal (minus the cookies, those got tossed) with the whole office wondering what the hell happened to me.

I'm going with that I cried because I'm exhausted, but let's face it, I'm just a cry baby.

Casual Fridays

My company is "business casual". Just wear some slacks and nice top and you're fine. One great perk is that they allow us to wear jeans on Fridays. Everyone loves this. In fact, the company totally bribes us, if we donate money to a fundraiser they're supporting at a specific time, you can wear jeans. They even go above and beyond and make silly reasons to wear jeans, just because everyone loves it so much. Baseball season started? Wear your jeans! It's bring your kid to work day, wear your jeans! It's the CEO's birthday?? wear your jeans!

Now, jump to today. This new guy in IT walked in this morning wearing pinstripe pants, a white button down long sleeved shirt, a suit coat and a tie. I immediately thought how awful for no one to tell him that we can dress down on Fridays! However, he was a tad over dressed, so maybe he had his own reasons for looking so sharp.

He walks back into the lobby and heads outside about 10 minutes later. Mike, a friendly guy in IT that I chat with regularly, came out a couple minutes after him. He asks if Nick just walked outside, and when I told him yes, he started to laugh.

"Did you see what he was wearing today?!??"
"Actually, yeah... he's all fancy pants today, you guys forget to tell him it's jeans day?"
"Sort of...


.....We told him it was FORMAL FRIDAYS, and that everyone dresses up head to toe since we're so laid back regularly. He was kind of mad, so he was going to see if he had clothes he could change into in his car"


LOL a what what?
1. That's hilarious.
2. Why wouldn't he check with someone else, I've never heard of a company having their employees dress up, esp. on a Friday and
3. Points for the IT department and
3. AHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHHAHAHAHA that's absolutely the funniest thing ever!

Nick walked back in with his sleeves rolled up, and without his tie or jacket. Poor kid said all he had in his car was lacrosse shorts and didn't think that would be appropriate.

ahahhahaha, maybe it's because I'm mean that I find this hilarious and SO genius! Why have we not thought to do that before!?

Anyone else out there mess with new hires or are Mike and I (and the rest of the IT department) just horrible people?

What would I do without Bill?

Bill and I met a couple weeks after my first day. It was at this new hire orientation thing my company does and I remember thinking to myself, who is this huge red headed beaded guy?? (Haha, I bet you've all wondered what he looks like!) In fact if I knew Bill as a child, I bet you he was THIS kid : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=azhgVB5uXlo

I will have known Bill for 5 years this September. That's... kind of a like a serious friendship! haha! I mean, we don't really hang out outside of work, we've grabbed some sushi after work in a non date way, gone to happy hour together, and will even text each other when one person is on vaca to tell them how much they suck... but mostly our friendship is all about being stuck in the same building for the same 8 hour shift.

We complain together, annoy each other and both equally enjoy the friendship exactly how it is. Today, like every morning, Bill and I ate our breakfast together at my desk. As I was eating some the blueberries he brought, he joked and asked "what do you bring to the table? here I am, allowing you to eat my fruit, I cover your shifts, grab you coffee in the morning and what do I get out of it?" Well, Bill, you get nothing. I explained to him that I bring nothing to table. He laughed, he agreed and went on his way.

When lunch came and he was covering my break, he complained that he wouldn't be able to do my job without a glass of water. So being the NICE person that I am, I got it for him. When I came back a short 30 minutes later, he was complaining about how he needed more and wah wah wah. When he realized I wasn't getting it for him, he called me a jerk and left.

Oh what-ev-errrr.

It was then I realized my dear friend had left his company interweb page open. Mwahahhahaha, what's this? I have access to change his information?? Now I could be a nice person and sign him out, orrrrrrr I could be awesome and change the picture in his profile.

Guess which one I did?

>:-) (that's my evil face)

Now when you search for Bill in our company's interweb, you see this lovely image below. I can't wait to see how long it takes him to realize I did this. Although, I'm slightly terrified of what he will do once he finds out. Stay tuned... this could be a fun one ;)

The Coupon Club

Extreme couponers. I love them, I wish I was one. I see those shows on TLC and just wonder what crazy switch went off in their heads that made them think not only can they save money on 70 bottles of ketchup, but that they NEED 70 bottles of ketchup.

What does any of this do with being a receptionist and working in a corporate office? Well, let me tell you. As I walk around in the morning hanging up the meeting signs for all conference rooms, I noticed that in one room (which happens to be the one in the lobby) there was a meeting titled "Coupon Club". The description is listed as:
"Bring your coupons, your deals of the week, your purchase strategy and your lunch. Please let me know if you really attend or not. If you know anyone else that does couponing and is extreme like us, please feel free to invite them"

This is when my crazy switch in my head went off and made a mental note of the time so I could see just who exactly was in this club. Oh how exciting that this group is meeting in the only conference room I can see from my desk! I began to think of what to expect. Clearly the people are TLC are a tad crazy, but seriously, getting $900 of groceries for free is pretty sweet.

12 o'clock finally arrived and I anxiously awaited to see who was so extreme. Not surprisingly the majority of them where females, worked in the IT department and just as crazy as those on the show. These people lugged in binders, folders stuffed with ads, and notebooks ready to discuss their strategies.

After watching them pile in, I stood up to get a better look at the madness. They decided to eat their lunches first, one even bragging about how his was free from Target last week. I think it was a lean cuisine. After lunches were devoured (and oh, they were hungry...), binders flew open and the coupons were out! I think my phone must have annoyed them, as they ended up shutting the door to the conference room so I couldn't hear them anymore, but I could certainly see what was going on. They were trading coupons! Giving tips! Taking about what stores had the best deal. I stood there in awe. My sister and I have dabbled in couponing, and in no way are we even close to the people on the show, we absolutely SUCK in comparison to the people in this club!

Their meeting ended and they must have noticed me just staring at them since they decided to come talk to me. Turns out most of them just started this and were already bragging about their money saving techniques.

I even got invited to next week's meeting (which I turned down - I don't like people, remember ;) ). As I started to think of all the funny things I was going to tell Bill about this crazy club, one member came back and threw me a pack of tic-tacs.

"Hey, you like mints? I got these free, and I'll never be able to eat all of them."

Why yes, I *DO* like mints. And I like people giving me presents! Maybe these people aren't so bad... I mean, think of the free things I might end up with?!? ;)