The Crazy Man

 

Today at work I definitely had a "WTF" moment.  I was sitting at my desk, training the new mail room guy so that NG and I have backup on the phones when a crazy man came into to lobby and started screaming at me.

I don't know if any of you receptionists ever get angry people in person, but good Lord it's my least favorite thing.  Screaming callers I can handle (and hang up on), screaming people in my face... I find it hard to remain professional.  And not get emotional.  And well, to be honest, a little shaky.  I don't do confrontations.

It was one of those moments where I was glad to have someone sitting next to me.  I was happy to have someone witness what psychos I deal with.  And this guy... geez, he was no exception.  I never got his name, and the best part is that he doesn't even work for us.  His wife does.  And they're upset about her benefits.  

When I first starting working in a corporate office, I found it bizarre at how many people's spouses and parents call for the person who actually works for us.  It's almost like they're scared to call.  Which is great, so glad we hired these winners.  I mean, I get it.  I hate talking on the phone (ironic, I know) but if I have to call my doctor's office, I call myself.  So why would it be any different if I had to call my employer?  Am I the weird one in this situation?

To get back to the story, this crazy man with a thick accent came in and immediately gave me attitude about how no one in benefits called him back and he DEMANDS to talk to a live person.  Normally, when employees from our stores come in, I take pity on them.  I'll make an effort to at least call their benefit rep and see if they're available to help out.  This guy...not so much.  Don't ever go somewhere with an attitude and think you're going to get helped, and that people are going to be dying to be nice to you.

Because this guy was a douche, and started raising his voice, I decided I wanted to get him out of the lobby as fast as possible.  I looked up his rep, called her - noticed that it was OH YEAH, BEFORE 9AM and realized she probably wasn't in.  I informed him she wasn't in yet, but here's her email and her direct dial, so why don't you try that.

Apparently I'm an idiot.  That's not a live person.  That's not getting him help.  That's not doing anything but trying to get him out of the office.  He accused me of not being helpful and he was going to sit in the lobby until I got him someone to speak to.  

Um, no.  I'm not doing that.  And now that you've just screamed at me, I'm definitely not going to do anything helpful.  I was actually going out of my way giving you her extension, now you get to deal with me hating you and your tweed jacket.  

After hashing out a couple thousand "SIRS" and repeating that he has to call the number I gave him, it was when he put both his hands down on the desk and leaned forward to get in my face.  I immediately roll my chair back and tell the poor guy I'm training to go get Jim.  Of course, Jim isn't in, but I needed it to look like I was getting someone to get this guy away from me.  (Of course, I wish I stood up and got right in his face, but you always think of things to do after they happen!)

The trainee ran away, and while he was gone, psycho man decided he was going to leave.  All while muttering and cursing me.  I never got the name of his wife, but you better believe I'm going to follow up with Amanda in benefits to see if she got any crazy callers.  I think HR would be interested in hearing this.

My poor little trainee came back and asked if that has happened before.  With my heart racing, a trying to not look all rattled, I informed him that he wasn't even close to being my first crazy person in the lobby to scream at me.  He looked concerned and tried to lighten the mood by saying "well, at least he didn't have a gun"

IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MAKE ME FEEL BETTER?!?!? ahhhhh, that makes me scared even more!!

Happy Monday, Everyone!;)

The best worst advice I can give

Today was a rough day.  I switched shifts with NG so I could go to a doctor's appointment this morning.  Unfortunately that meant I was working until 6pm.  By the time I got to the office, I had to run around to deliver lunches, cover NG's 1000s bathroom breaks, squeeze in a lunch, clean up after the meetings, cover NG's lunch, go to a meeting with my boss, attempt to calm down an upset NG after her meeting with the boss and then be chained to the phones until closing. 

All while wearing a fucking smile on my face.

In all the years that I've been working for this company, 2 people (my boss and Kathy's boss) have told me the worst advice ever.  Only thing is, it turns out to be some of the smartest advice I've ever been given.

Fake it 'til you  make it.

I'm not even kidding.  The first time I was told that by Kathy's boss I was insulted.  Fake it until I make it? What kind of advice is that?  You want me to pretend to be happy even though I'm miserable?  You want me to smile and act like everything is totally fine even though the majority of people I interact with, both in person and on phones, are dumb??

Yup.

And the worst part - it totally works.  I even did a search of the phrase and it's a real "thing".  Wikipedia says its " is a common catchphrase that means to imitate confidence so that confidence produces success"    Well well, so if I fake happy and looking confident, the end result is me looking like I know what I'm doing and I'll be successful? Interesting.  It's also associated with AA - ha.  Everything about my job is full circle to drinking more.

I've been meeting with my boss a lot more frequently and when she mentioned how NG just isn't as good as me (well, duh) and how there have been complaints that she doesn't greet everyone or can sometimes get a little tooooo casual with employees (she does, she wants to be friends with everyone, and doesn't see the difference between friends and co-workers).  Daily I am asked by co-workers if they can do a last minute lunch orders for their meeting happening in 2 hours.   And with a huge fake smile on my face, I'll tell them "Of course you can!  Not a problem, I'll take care of that for you right away!!! :) :) :) :) :)"  That's when I hang up the phone with them, roll my eyes, mutter under my breathe how dumb they are and continue on my day. 

NG... not so much.  (And let's not even get into it that she doesn't actually do any of this work, I do it so why does she make it a big deal??)  Anywho, she'll state how inconvenient last minute orders are.  How we really need more notice.  How she can order them pizza, but that's about it.  Oh, and you might have to come pick the order up yourself since Ruby is running around with all the other lunches.  Oooh, you wanted drinks... I'll see if we have enough for you... 

This, my friends, is when you fake it.  We all know how terrible last minute things are, but you don't actually say that!  You grin and bear it.  And ya know what? everyone in the office knows they can count on me and I will do anything to help them out.  NG, well.... people try to just avoid her and go directly to me.  

I don't know which is worse.  People sort of walk all over me, but I'd rather people talk about how awesome I am over and over then to have one NEGATVE (ew, still hate that word) comment made about me.  I will try to go above and beyond so much that I will...

...fake it 'till I make it.

God damn it.  My boss was right...

...Hey, if the shoe fits..   ;)

The BlackBerry

As you all know, I was out last week.  Everyone knows that.  Everyone but my callers.

My morning started off with one particular rude caller.  NBD.  I mean, it is Tuesday after all.  The reason I've picked this wonderful gentleman to talk about is because he's just so ridiculous!  What's his face calls, and as soon as he starts talking, I know he's going to be miserable.

He's been calling since last week.  He's left messages.  No one has gotten back to him.  

Um.. ok.  Well I'm sorry sir, but there are two receptionists.  And.. I was actually out last week.  How can I help you?

SIGHHHHHHHHHHH, let me explain it, AGAIN.

He goes into detail about how he found a blackberry, and upon turning it on, it says our company's name and has a number to call if lost.  (side note - really?! do other companies do this?? I guess it makes sense, but it just seems weird!)

Anywho, he's been calling trying to speak to the appropriate person to be able to figure out what to do with the phone.  

I give him a couple of names of people in the telecommunications department that he should speak to when he barks at me that he left messages for those people already.

Ok, well people were out last week, so I really recommend talking to Kate, and she'd be able to help.

Kate's voice mail says email is the best way to get a hold of her

Ok, let me get you Kate's email address

I DONT NEED THAT.  I NEED HER TO PICK UP HER DAMN PHONE!!!

Seriously? Would you be that angry because you found a phone, and no one returned your call stating you found it?

Apparently this guy was that angry.

He threatened to throw out the phone, or maybe he will just keep it!  Uhhh, go ahead buddy, I DON'T CARE.  Why do people threaten me with pathetic lines?  I'm not going to lose sleep over the fact that you throw out at phone that's not mine!


The jackwagon calmed down enough for me to transfer to Kate and I have to believe all went well.  He never called back.  


Whyyyyyyyyyy do people yell at receptionists? Do they think that will help them?? Someone please explain this to me!  And seriously... a phone makes you that upset? I can only assume he steals candy from babies and pushes toddlers down.


What a loser.

Friends?

I'mmmm baaaccckk!  bahahha, that picture is only slightly terrifying! :)

Did you miss me??  After being away for a week at our trade show, I'm back.  And if I wasn't asleep on my feet while there, I would have totally blogged.  Maybe.

I turned in my hourly time sheet today (yes late, but whatevs) and in the past 2 weeks I worked 103 hours.  Which, I know people work a lot more than 40 hours a week, but not this girl.  So I get to brag.  I'm going to get a fat paycheck with 23 hours at time and a half.  Boom.  (Sadly this is one of my smaller amount of OT while working 'the show', but is that really a bad thing that I worked less?! It's still going to be a sweet check)

I'm covered in bruises and cuts from lugging shit around and setting up displays.  I'm exhausted and kind of hate that I'm already back at real work after having one day off.  However, it was really nice to come in and have people say they missed me and are glad to have me back. 

Anywho! When I got home Saturday night I was catching up with my sister (who I barely got to talk to while I was there and that was just weirddddd since I talk to her all day everyday...) and I told her that something really weird happened while there.

Jim and I...


ew, get your mind out of the gutter! :)


...got along.  And not only did we get along, I enjoyed his company.  He wasn't his usual douchbag self, but a funny, even nice person.  We goofed off together, drank together, even shared nephew pictures and stories.  I managed to get through a conversation with him without rolling my eyes.


We took a picture together and put it on FB.  He frieneded me on FB.  We already had each other's number due to work, but he texted me retarded things which got me to go "HA" a couple times.  Yes, just one HA - we're just starting to get along, let's not rush this ;)


I learned he's the pickiest eater ever - and realized that I hate guys that picky.  Seriously, just order the burger with everything on it. You look ridiculous asking for no lettuce, tomato, onions or pickles.  I would make fun of him in a nice teasing way for being a loser.  Normally I would have rolled my eyes and mutter something under my breath.


Are we becoming friends?


His luggage got lost on our trip home.  How do I know this, since I immediately left the airport as soon as I got my luggage? He texted me to tell me how much it sucked. 


My sister thinks we're turning a new leaf.  Maybe this new relationship will make work better and more enjoyable.  Maybe, just maybe, we can co-exist without me wanting to stab a fork into him.


Well, my friends.  NOPE.


Guess who didn't come into work today.


Jim.


The douche who took the Friday before we left off as his Memorial Day Holiday (since we work the holiday), decided to take today off as his Memorial Day Holiday.


Guess we'll always have the Trade Show because he's back on the shit list! :)