The Smelly OCD Lady

Ever known anyone that smelled so bad that you literally had to hold your breath when they were around you? Welcome to my life when smelly OCD lady comes into the lobby.

In trying to find ways to compare just how stinky this woman is, think of when you open your fridge and can smell that something has gone bad. Or when you walk into your house and realize you need to take your trash out, asap. I'll even go as far as comparing her to the smell of a wet dog. That's how disgusting this lady smells.

Now before you start calling me mean (again!), I'm not making fun of her..(altho I'm sure I will), it's her perfume I don't like. She chooses to be this stinky. It's old lady perfume that is so potent I literally have to put my hand over my nose and mouth because can't breathe when she's around. So now the question is, does she think she actually smells good?? And how does she not see me gasping for air when she's around??

She comes into the lobby a lot. We do a lunch order daily, where I pick a local sub shop randomly, and if you forgot your lunch, or just feel like buying one, you look at the menu, pick out what you want, and then give me your money. Smelly OCD lady loooooooooves to order out! There's even a rumor around the office that literally eats alllll day long. I believe it. She comes to work every day with a suitcase on wheels, supposedly filled with all sorts of goodies - snacks, frozen meals, leftovers, that are meant to keep her eating all day long. Wouldn't you think she'd pack a lunch if she's going to bring a SUITCASE with food everyday? Hank even said he saw her heating up pasta..... at 9:30am...what?!?!

Besides being incredibly stinky, this lovely woman has some of the worst OCD I have ever seen. When she comes to order lunch, she actually has to have things on MY desk lined up a certain way before she leave. So I took a picture to show just how crazy she is. :)

As you can see, her obsessive compulsive disorder makes her literally have to have everything lined up a certain way. Her money MUST be tucked in to the upper right corner, fanned out (highest bill on the left), and on a diagonal. And of course, change MUST be presented on top of the bills. Duh!

Her pen must be on the lunch ordering form, and the menu has to be on the left side. So naturally, what do I do? I like to mess with her, and always move things around once she places everything the way she likes it. The first time I did it, I crumbled her dollar bills while picking them up, then dropped them and answered the phone. The horrified look on this lady's face was an instant classic. From that moment, I knew it meant I had to mess with her.

Let's just hope I don't give her a heart attack in the process. Or that I don't pass out from inhaling toxic fumes.