Bill is leaving...

...The mail room that is.

Did I just scare you? Because I'm pretty sure I had a mild heart attack today.

Bill and I started a month apart from each other and pretty much have been each other's sidekicks during the past 5 years. Sure some days we hate each other, some days we bring each other coffee, and other days we complain about work or chat about our weekends. So imagine my surprise when Bill told me he got a new job.

A normal person would congratulate their friend, I on the other hand, called him a bastard.

How dare he think he can leave me behind at this company!?!?

Then, after almost getting yelled at by NG for "being rude", (well seriously, he would be a bastard if he left me!) I learned that the position he applied/interviewed for another department, had actually accepted him. Had I not been so caught up in the utter shock, I would have remembered that 2-3 weeks prior I had coached him on what to do and say in his interview. Apparently someone thinks I apply to a lot of jobs and know what I'm doing. ;)

My little Billy impressed the right people at the company and now is off his hourly wage, working for the miserable Jim, and has a brand new salary position in the IT world.

.....

Yes. You read that right. He now will work in the IT world.

WHAT?!? This is the boy that calls me and asks me how to set up a meeting in outlook. The same kid that asks me how to spell words because he "can't be bothered with spell check". The same bastard that didn't know how to COPY AND PASTE a picture into an email. Is this seriously a joke??!

Now, Bill is my friend, so I'm allowed to be all what-what about this and it's perfectly acceptable. And honestly, I am reallllly happy for him. I know how miserable he was, and how he really disliked working with Jim. But let's think about the real issue here: how this affects ME!

Will he be able to sit and have breakfast with me?
Will he still bring me coffee?
Will he be too busy to email me funny things from failblog?

I mean, really! these are the important issues we must find out!! Because of this, NG decided to check out our company's website just to see if something had been posted about Bill's mail room job. Nothing yet, but what we did find was there is an executive assistant position available. NG started asking me millions of questions, pretty much asking if I thought she should apply.

"Why yes, of course! You're totally qualified!"

What she doesn't know is that you have to be in your position for a year before you can apply for another department. I'm not sure if that's a common rule in companies, but apparently that's how it is at mine. I'm hoping she applies and gets shot down. Again, I know, that sounds terrible, but HI, let's focus on me again. I can't have another person LEAVE ME BEHIND. And if anyone is getting that E.A job, it's me ;)



BILL IS NOW A NERD!