The Cousin

One of our new hires happens to have the same last name as me. Because of this, he has started calling me his cousin. He's a nice enough guy, so I'll let it slide. Plus, I don't see him all that much during the day, so I only get "Hey Cuz" about twice a day.

Now, my "cuz" is a little strange. I get to work at 7:30am, and every morning I park a couple cars down from him. How do I know it's his car? Oh, because he is STILL SITTING IN IT.

Normally, I wouldn't really think much of it. Maybe he's listening to a song, maybe he's pulling a Ruby and having a little pep talk to himself to make him get out of the car and go to work. Maybe he being a creep and smoking a cigarette in his car, while watching the news on his ipad.

Yup.

That's exactly what he does. He sits in his car, smoking, watching God knows what, before he enters the office around 8am. A couple female employees have come up to me asking me if I knew that there was a strange man lurking in the parking lot. Imagine their horrified faces when I told them, Oh, James? Yeah...he works for us! It doesn't help that there is a park right by our office where a lot of children play. Granted, kids aren't out there at that hour, but still... it looks creepy.

Today, Jean (the co-worker who decided to join my gym), came up to me and asked me a really good question. After I explained to her that yup, he's a co-worker, she pondered, "well... WHY does he do that??" Jean gets to the office at 7am and explained to me that when she shows up, he's there, sitting in his parked car.

Jean has an excellent point. Why show up to work an hour before you enter the building just to sit in your car like a stalker? Why sit in your own stench, when we have designated areas for smokers to go? It's not like he has a long commute either, and it's not like he's trying to beat rush hour traffic, especially at that hour of the day.

Naturally, I have all his information so I pull up his home address. (haha, NOW who's sketchy??) He lives 20 minutes away. What the hell is this guy doing?! Wouldn't you sit at home, smoking, watching the news and then come to work?? He goes out randomly during the day, with a cup of coca-cola (weird) and sits in his car and smokes some more. Umm... if you're trying to hide the fact that you're a smoker, you're doing it wrong. You come into the lobby reeking of cigarettes.

Luckily no one thinks we're actually related and thank God. I can't be associated with that disaster!