Stale cookies

I was cleaning up the reception desk a little this morning when I uncovered a little treat hiding in the second drawer of my desk. NG and I like to keep a stash of candy hidden there in case of emergency. As you know, lately I've been getting free stuff from the caterers.

You know where this is going.

No, it wasn't anything gross like a 2 week old sandwich - I mean, let's face it, I would have eaten that immediately! It was a little container of 2 week old shamrock shaped cookies. I tottttally forgot about these, and the only reason I didn't inhale them upon arrival is because I tried one, and... well, egh. They weren't the greatest. Now that I'm a cookie snob, I can say they were very boring. (Lately my sister has been making these m+m and chocolate chip cookies - TO DIE FOR.) Anywho! What did I decide to do with the stale cookies? Of course I didn't throw them away, I put them in the kitchen for everyone to eat!

See picture below:


I know the picture is kind of hard to tell that they're shamrocks, but they are. And since I found some Lindt chocolates in the desk, and have absolutely no idea how long those have been there, or when we even got those, I threw them on the table as well:


Laughing, I headed back to my desk to watch the camera that's focused on the cafeteria. (haha, makes you think twice knowing that someone could be watching you, huh?) Now mind you, it's early. It's not even 8am. So I get back to "work" and answer phones, greet employees and salesman and pretend to be the oh-so-happy girl that I am.

A quick glance at the camera monitors have me laughing. CAUGHT YA! (ew, I apparently deleted the pic I took because it's not in my phone anymore!! Just picture 3 people crowding around a table, most likely inhaling gross stale 2 week old cookies).

The cookies (and candies) were gone before 9:30. How do I know this? That's when NG arrived, and went to the kitchen for some coffee.

So the moral of the story. Don't eat shamrock cookies 2 weeks after St. Patrick's Day. The receptionist will judge you.

:)

Another terrible Tuesday!

What the hell is that you ask? No, not that huge crack on that nasty floor. Oh, that would be NG's breakfast! She decided to open her oatmeal packet while standing there, and since she's a spaz and talks with her hands, she managed to pour half of it all over the floor.

...And then it took her a good 20minutes to clean it up. She obviously had to get coffee first, since like, ohmigod, she's like, totally not awake. And then naturally, had to say hi to the boyfriend!

Welcome to another typical terrible Tuesday.

Today was also one of the executive meetings. I worked with the CEO and President's assistant to "plan a menu" for the meeting. Basically, I just had to order what she told me, and be in charge of set up and clean up. Joy.

After running around taking care of the 5 meetings that, of course, were all happening at the same time, I was doing the exciting job of restocking the mini fridge full of sodas. It was then when Alyson came rushing in.

1. The executives needed more drinks.
2. They HATED their food, both breakfast and lunch.

Ok...

With every other meeting I pick out what everyone eats, so maayybee it would concern me a little, but... I didn't pick out the food, and honestly, we order the executive's food from a really nice caterer, and since I set both meals up, I don't know what they're talking about.

Breakfast - pastries, quiches, and fruit. Delicious!

Lunch - wraps, Mediterranean salad and cookies. Tasty!

While Alyson was freaking out, I talked her off the ledge telling her everything would be fine. Who cares? Next meeting they had, she would figure out better food, no one would be mad at her, and here, bring these drinks upstairs. I followed up sending her an email "apologizing" that the executives didn't enjoy their meals, but there are other options for their next meeting.

Wow Ruby, you're being so nice! Uhhh, no. Not really. There is absolutely no way I'm letting anyone think I picked out their "less than satisfactory" lunch, and making sure everyone knows it was Alyson's fault.

:)

I really don't see what the big deal was either. I tried their food, it was delish.

The Ex-Employee

I don't know what's up with Tuesdays lately, but the last couple of months, every Tuesday has sucked. I was hoping that today would end the Tuesday curse, since it was the first day of Spring and it was a such a summer like day. Nope. Within the first hour of work, my week of 1 lunch meeting increased to 6 (including a whole office lunch for tomorrow that consisted of me ordering 35 pizzas....), the pest control guy that comes in came in before the front door unlocked and he gave me 'tude when I (half jokingly) asked him "why are YOU here so early?!?" (but seriously, go away, why are you here before I even got my tea??) and then of course, there was my first caller.

I barely got my monotone "thank you for calling..." out before I was rudely talked over.
"I AM A FORMER EMPLOYEE, I GOT LAID OFF (BLAH BLAH BLAH), I ABSOLUTELY REFUSE TO SPEAK TO HUMAN RESOURCES BECAUSE THEY ARE ALL AGAINST ME, BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH."
I'm not even kidding, she "blah-ed" on for 8 frickin minutes. She was screaming so loud I had to rip the headset off my head before I started bleeding from the ears. As I held the phone out miles from my head, I began to slowly tune her out and only listen to key words.

All angry employees that work out one of our stores get sent to one unfortunate lady in HR. I honestly have no idea how she handles these callers. As much as I love complaining, I absolutely hate listening to disgruntled employees screaming about whatever is upsetting them.

Pretty much, this lady was mad, felt she was wrongfully terminated, and she *tried* to talk to HR, but they didn't pick her side of the argument, so she needed to speak to the CEO of the company otherwise she was going to...

wait for it....

wait for it....

it's my favorite line that 98% of angry callers scream at me...

otherwise, she's going to SUE THE COMPANY.

::GASP:: Oh! The horror!! Oh my! I didn't realize how seriously upset you were, let me bend over backwards, go against protocol and let me send you right on over to the CEO. Yes, she will definitely be able to fix your problem. Of COURSE she handles angry people we fire!

Are you freaking serious? Do you really think the CEO even knows the store you work for? Nope! Do you think she really cares? NOPE! Do you really think saying you're going to sue is going to do anything??

Go ahead and sue, what do I care?! AND even if you do sue, the CEO still isn't the right contact - that would be legal. So naturally, what do I do? I sent them over the CEO's assistant knowing full well that she's not in. (And let's me honest, even if she was in, I still would have sent it to her to get this crazy lady away from me.)

Immediately, like all callers, she calls back and complains she got a voice mail. She goes off on her threat to sue and then REPEATS HER WHOLE 8 MINUTE STORY while I'm sitting there trying to interrupt her by saying "MA'AM!!! I'm not.." "MA'AM!!! I'm the reception--" "MA'AM!!!!!!"
over and over again.

Welcome to my life. Are there any other receptionists who get this sort of shit daily? Do callers threaten to sue the company in hopes that we will just bend over backwards to help them? Are we supposed to bend over backwards to help them?

Luckily she only called 4 more times before NG came in and I made her take over. Better her than me, right? ;)

The Cubicle

As I venture out from my huge luxurious desk and into the world of small cramped cubicles, I'm beginning to notice how everyone chooses to decorate their personal space. As a receptionist, I've never had the desire to put anything personal on my desk since it's in such a busy non-personal location. Also, it's never been "just mine" and even though I'm "lead receptionist", I've always shared it with the part time receptionist. Plus, even though my desk is relatively big, it's got so much stuff on it there really isn't a space to put up a framed picture. And since I don't have walls like a cube, I'm unable to tack anything up like most people.

As I've walked around more, I noticed that people have their awards up, pictures of friends/family/siginifant others everywhere, plants, cell phone chargers, their lunch... you name it, they have it on or around their desk. Then there's me at reception. The only personal items I've ever had are my slippers hidden under my desk, chapstix and a mirror compact (just so I can make sure I don't have food all over my face). My bag and coat get tucked away, my two awards that I won years ago for great customer service (HAHAHAHA - no, I really do have those awards, just how funny is that?!) are in the bottom shelf of the desk since I don't have a wall to hang them up and I'm sure as hell not displaying them on the desk. My reception desk sort of looks like this:


And with two of us there, 2 computers, a printer, it's crowded. And maybe that's half the reason I never put anything up, but I still think because it's a common area and I have to share it, I never thought to leave anything there. Plus, if plants are getting stolen in HR, imagine what would go missing from my desk! ;)

So, naturally, as I've been doing more meeting work and been shunned to the back to sit at Kathy's old desk, one would think I would attempt to make it more personal. Bossboss has come to my area on more than one occasion and told me to "spruce it up" and "put pictures up of your nephew". Bad move Bossboss. Being the stubborn brat that I am, this means that I absolutely refuse to put anything personal on this desk. I've decided that I will put a picture of my cute little nephew as soon as I get a title change. Until then, this is what you get, a sad looking desk with the only decoration being calendars and hanging files:

(I wasn't lying when I said I was shunned to the back - and now with my department in a different building, I'm literally all alone!)

So blovers, do YOU have personal items at your desk??

A Girl Named Toshiba

I got to witness one of the funniest phone calls ever today.

NG was on the phones, and while I was forcing her to sign up for pinterest, she got the weirdest call I have ever heard.

"I would like to speak the woman who deals with purchasing the computers for the company. I think her name is Toshiba."

NG played it off cool. "I'm sorry, did you say you're looking for a person named Toshiba??"

I couldn't hear what the lady's response was because I was laughing.

NG: " Are you sure you're not referring to the company Toshiba?? We have Maria in purchasing who handles all Toshiba products..."

NG: "Well... there's no one in the office named that. We have products FROM Toshiba..."

Let's just stop right there. Is this lady serious?? She started giving NG some 'tude and didn't understand why we couldn't find anyone in the system with that name. I'm also pretty positive that she wasn't happy hearing me laughing in the background either, but c'mon! The lady is just lucky I wasn't on the phone with her, I'm not sure I would have been able to not laugh at her.

Happy Wednesday Everyone!

The Cousin

One of our new hires happens to have the same last name as me. Because of this, he has started calling me his cousin. He's a nice enough guy, so I'll let it slide. Plus, I don't see him all that much during the day, so I only get "Hey Cuz" about twice a day.

Now, my "cuz" is a little strange. I get to work at 7:30am, and every morning I park a couple cars down from him. How do I know it's his car? Oh, because he is STILL SITTING IN IT.

Normally, I wouldn't really think much of it. Maybe he's listening to a song, maybe he's pulling a Ruby and having a little pep talk to himself to make him get out of the car and go to work. Maybe he being a creep and smoking a cigarette in his car, while watching the news on his ipad.

Yup.

That's exactly what he does. He sits in his car, smoking, watching God knows what, before he enters the office around 8am. A couple female employees have come up to me asking me if I knew that there was a strange man lurking in the parking lot. Imagine their horrified faces when I told them, Oh, James? Yeah...he works for us! It doesn't help that there is a park right by our office where a lot of children play. Granted, kids aren't out there at that hour, but still... it looks creepy.

Today, Jean (the co-worker who decided to join my gym), came up to me and asked me a really good question. After I explained to her that yup, he's a co-worker, she pondered, "well... WHY does he do that??" Jean gets to the office at 7am and explained to me that when she shows up, he's there, sitting in his parked car.

Jean has an excellent point. Why show up to work an hour before you enter the building just to sit in your car like a stalker? Why sit in your own stench, when we have designated areas for smokers to go? It's not like he has a long commute either, and it's not like he's trying to beat rush hour traffic, especially at that hour of the day.

Naturally, I have all his information so I pull up his home address. (haha, NOW who's sketchy??) He lives 20 minutes away. What the hell is this guy doing?! Wouldn't you sit at home, smoking, watching the news and then come to work?? He goes out randomly during the day, with a cup of coca-cola (weird) and sits in his car and smokes some more. Umm... if you're trying to hide the fact that you're a smoker, you're doing it wrong. You come into the lobby reeking of cigarettes.

Luckily no one thinks we're actually related and thank God. I can't be associated with that disaster!

The Email

This is an email that I got this morning from a girl in HR. I like her. She's wicked nice, always is showing me pictures of her cute son, and I know she's cool because she's in a wine group? has a wine subscription? and gets a bottle of wine delivered to the office each month. She gave me the heads up about her special package, so she could immediately run it out to her car so no one in HR saw it. Love it!

Anywho, here's a little gem she sent me and I had so share. Enjoy!

From: Kate in HR
Sent: Monday, March 05, 2012 8:25 AM
To: Ruby
Subject: Interesting Situation....

Hi Ruby!

So I have a very interesting situation to share with you. I had a rose plant which I got on Valentine’s day and well he started to look a bit ragged so I threw him out in the HR copy room on Wednesday night. Thursday morning when I came in, my rose plant was sitting on the Confidential shredder outside my cube, so somebody took him out of the trash, nobody in HR. I then decided since he was resurrected I would name him Jesus and would take care of him again so I put him on my desk. Today I came in and Jesus is NO WHERE to be found. That being said, someone (possibly the cleaners) took my property (albeit a plant) off my desk. Now maybe they thought since they took him from the trash that it was theirs, however they left it here and then he came back home to my desk where it was taken from. A bit disturbing so I thought I would share.

Happy Monday... blah!

Kate

p.s I hope you had a nice weekeend :)

ahahah I love the ending.