Delivery Boys

You know in the movie 'Legally Blonde' how there's a hot UPS delivery guy that comes in daily? Where does that happen?! Please tell me so I can get a job there. The past couple times my bestie has gone to a local sub shop for lunch, she runs into the same hot foreign guy ordering a sandwich. WTH! Where is my daily hot guy? I should clarify, where is my daily hot guy that makes working 8 hours more enjoyable? (And uh...to my boyfriend, if you're reading this, just ignore that last sentence :) love you!)

But seriously, I do not get any perks of seeing any good looking UPS drivers, delivery boys, or random people coming in for meetings or interviews! So unfair. The worst is the sketchy delivery guys who make me so uncomfortable I wish I could just get up and leave the lobby. Some of them try to chat with me, and ALL of them like to stand RIGHT next to me while waiting for the person who ordered food to come out. I can smell their nasty cologne - remember in 8th grade when boys learned about cologne and pretty much showered in that? yeah, its WORSE than that. I could punch them by just moving my arm to the left, and I'm pretty sure they're looking down my shirt, since I'm sitting and they're standing. These guys are just so creepy. I cringe when I see one coming in. I can't even begin to explain just how much I dread the 5 minutes I sit waiting for whoever ordered to come out and get their food.

Lots of them think they're so cool, and probably think they're doing me a service by coming in and gracing me with their presence. One creepy older looking guy tried to get me interested in talking to him by informing me he's a bartender on the weekends, and ya know what? He'll hook me up with free drinks - just come in with all my girlfriends. Oh sure, this sounds like a GREAT idea - my friends and I love creepy delivery men/bartenders!

While trying to tell him, thanks but NO THANKS, I get the reply "what? you dont like to go out on weekends? you don't party?" Umm, if by you thinking I don't party means I don't have to continue this conversation, then yes, yes, I hate going out on weekends. "Here let me give you my number so you can call me when you're coming in town" What??? Gross! Trust me, that sticky note was immediately thrown out, and the rest of my note pad was moved far far far away to the corner of my desk that only I can reach.

Being the mastermind that I am, I've even started pretending that I'm on the phone just so I don't have to have any conversation with them - who does that?! THIS GIRL! Such a brilliant plan. And if this starts to fail, I think I'll start pretending I have turrets :)

So, to all you delivery people out there: Leave us receptionists alone! ;) Unless you're Johnny Depp, or any other hot rich actor, just don't even bother. I'm paid to act pleasant to guests, it doesn't mean I like you. Unless we start a conversation with you, just do us a favor and don't speak. And always, always!!! stand at least 5 feet away. :)