Guess who's back

Hello, my blog following friends! I have returned!

I would like to apologize for my complete lack of blogging. Due to summer vacations, moving out of my apartment and a very sad break up, I wasn't up for blogging. But, I am now - and I have an endless amount of material to keep me blogging forever!! :-)

So this past weekend was glorious, and I spent both days doing what I do best - beaching and boating. So I decided to wear a wicked cute white v-neck shirt today because, well, I wanted to show off the nice tan I'm sporting! So, I pair it up with some gray pants (or my old man pants, as my sister likes to call them), throw on my cute wedge sandals and off to work I go.

And then, something awful happened.

No, I didn't spill my tea all down the front of me, or get ink all over myself (which I have definitely done before!) but....

I....

Matched....

MATCHING GIRLS!!!

Not only did I have a white shirt on, it was THE SAME shirt as one of them. Damn you Kohl's, and your fabulously priced shirts!! And while we had different gray pants on, they were verrrry similiar. Thankfully they had on red pumps.

It's definitely a weird feeling walking down the hall and all of a sudden noticing you have on the same outfit as another girl! I'm hoping no one else besides the 3 of us noticed...but somehow...I don't think so.

They even joked to me that we must all shop at the same stores. I almost wanted to comment if they planned to wear the same outfit, but I didn't. Instead I ran back to my desk. I don't think the office is ready for triplets just yet ;)

Oh, No Biggie

Yeah, that's right. Brad Pitt called me.

All in a day's work ;)

No Shoes, No Problem??

I reallllyyy don't understand people and I'm seriously losing faith in the human race.

At work we have what is called the "Employee Sign-In Sheet". It sits on my desk and when you forget your security pass that allows you access into the building, you check your name and I "buzz" you in. For some reason unknown to man, everyone in this office is deathly afraid of having to check their name when they forget their pass. Usually when one realizes they forget their pass, they do one of two things. Either they look at me and point to the door (without checking their name off) or they will SPRINT from one end to the other when they see someone exiting and opening the door, just so they don't have to 'check' their name off. Surprisingly none of them pay any attention when I check their names off for them. :)

What are they so afraid of and where does this fear come from?! The best part is that at the end of each week, I literally put the piece of paper in a folder, and place it in my filing cabinet, never to be seen again.

So here we are today. One overly tan lady comes in, says hello, and waves her pass at me. You're not required to show me your pass, I know who works here and who doesn't, but this lady alwaysssssssss forgets it. When she does have it, its a major accomplishment and we both like to acknowledge that she is capable of remembering herr pass. So, she shows me, we both smile and go on with our day.

Jump forward 20-30minutes, and she's back in the lobby, ordering her lunch. Only there's something weird about her. She hands me her money while I'm staring at her, giving her "what the helllll is wrong with you" look, when she walks back to the door (that's locked, and you have to use your pass for.) Only, what this I see? Cinderella is only wearing one shoe. She's walking around in the lobby, like a crazy peron, with one sandal on. WHAT? WHY?! Well, my friends, this special woman has decided to PROPT the door open with her shoe.

WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?! Isn't it just easier to check your name off on a list? Or to ask me to buzz you in? Or, I dunno, REMEMBER THE PASS YOU JUST HAD?? She JUST had it! She showed it to me!

AHHHHHH what is wrong with people?!?!?!?!

The Smelly OCD Lady

Ever known anyone that smelled so bad that you literally had to hold your breath when they were around you? Welcome to my life when smelly OCD lady comes into the lobby.

In trying to find ways to compare just how stinky this woman is, think of when you open your fridge and can smell that something has gone bad. Or when you walk into your house and realize you need to take your trash out, asap. I'll even go as far as comparing her to the smell of a wet dog. That's how disgusting this lady smells.

Now before you start calling me mean (again!), I'm not making fun of her..(altho I'm sure I will), it's her perfume I don't like. She chooses to be this stinky. It's old lady perfume that is so potent I literally have to put my hand over my nose and mouth because can't breathe when she's around. So now the question is, does she think she actually smells good?? And how does she not see me gasping for air when she's around??

She comes into the lobby a lot. We do a lunch order daily, where I pick a local sub shop randomly, and if you forgot your lunch, or just feel like buying one, you look at the menu, pick out what you want, and then give me your money. Smelly OCD lady loooooooooves to order out! There's even a rumor around the office that literally eats alllll day long. I believe it. She comes to work every day with a suitcase on wheels, supposedly filled with all sorts of goodies - snacks, frozen meals, leftovers, that are meant to keep her eating all day long. Wouldn't you think she'd pack a lunch if she's going to bring a SUITCASE with food everyday? Hank even said he saw her heating up pasta..... at 9:30am...what?!?!

Besides being incredibly stinky, this lovely woman has some of the worst OCD I have ever seen. When she comes to order lunch, she actually has to have things on MY desk lined up a certain way before she leave. So I took a picture to show just how crazy she is. :)

As you can see, her obsessive compulsive disorder makes her literally have to have everything lined up a certain way. Her money MUST be tucked in to the upper right corner, fanned out (highest bill on the left), and on a diagonal. And of course, change MUST be presented on top of the bills. Duh!

Her pen must be on the lunch ordering form, and the menu has to be on the left side. So naturally, what do I do? I like to mess with her, and always move things around once she places everything the way she likes it. The first time I did it, I crumbled her dollar bills while picking them up, then dropped them and answered the phone. The horrified look on this lady's face was an instant classic. From that moment, I knew it meant I had to mess with her.

Let's just hope I don't give her a heart attack in the process. Or that I don't pass out from inhaling toxic fumes.

The Short Week

Ahh, there is absolutely nothing better than having a nice long holiday weekend. Especially one with great weather like the one we just had. Well no, I lied. A week long vacation would be better, but still, the same happens. It always ends and you always have to go back to work.

Short weeks are some of the longest weeks. And this week is especially slow since a lot of people are on vacation and I'm not. And not to mention I've had a lot of computer problems at work, so I literally just sit around and wait for IT to fix everything.

How is it possible that 4 days can drag on and be worse than 5? It probably doesn't help I've gotten a million mean callers, stupid visitors/randoms in the lobby and a computer than nobody in IT knows whats wrong with it, or really cares all that much to fix. Not to mention I've had days where I don't know whether I'm going to burst out laughing hysterically or start bawling my eyes out. Yes, while still at work.

Yesterday I had 2 people in the lobby before 8am, when we're officially open. To quote Peter Griffin, this really grinds my gears. The most annoying part is the outside door is locked and you have to use your access pass to enter before 8am. So guess who has to get up and down every single time someone (in an office with 300 employees) is locked out, forgets their badge, or decides to have an interview come for 8am. ME! I have to admit, one of the best part about this is seeing the interviewee's confused face as they realize they can't open the door and try to figure out what to do.

Scheduling an 8am meeting or interview is just dumb. But if you reaalllllly need to and you're the one scheduling it, you should be IN THE OFFICE for 8am. My work day starts at 7:30am, and in those 30mins before 8am, I have my morning routine to do. While it actually does include doing some work related stuff, it also means getting my morning cup of tea and breakfast. Tea = Happy Ruby. No tea and having to sit with guests until the the person comes out to get them = NOT happy Ruby.

One would think over the years and years that I've been here that I would have a stash of plastic bowls and spoons up at my desk and be prepared for such circumstances that could upset my morning routine. I have a mini fridge at my desk, which is supposed to be for me to give water bottles out to guest, buttttt it's more for me to have a place to store my lunch, string cheese snacks and all the milk I need for my cheerios. But no, yesterday I was not prepared.

As I sat in the lobby, calling employees that were clearly not in the office yet, I pondered how stupid it is that I'm stuck in my chair as soon as 8am rolls around. I couldn't believe that I wasn't going to get my tea or my breakfast because of this dumb rule. No one else has to be stuck in their chair, so why should I?! So I say screw it! I left the losers in the lobby and went to the kitchen to get my tea and cheerios bowl. :)

Short week, thank goodness you're almost over.

I need to bring a resume??

So today a young girl (definitely in her 20's) came in for an interview, and I hope for sake of this company we don't hire her. I'm not just saying that to be mean. There are certain things you should know before going to an interview.

That being said, bringing your resume should be number one on your list.

Yes, that's right. She didn't bring her resume because she assumed we would print it out because, and I quote, "isn't that why you submit your resume, for the interviewer to have a copy?" she asked. She didn't even look embarrassed when the recruiter looked at her funny when she mentioned she didn't bring any copies of her resume, or even get nervous when the recruiter told her that she should always bring a resume to every job interview. I'm pretty sure I would have wanted to die and walk out, knowing I messed up and most likely would not be getting the job. Not this girl, I don't think she even realized she did anything wrong.

Now, I don't know about you, but when I was in college, I had to take a writing class where we worked on resumes and even did mock cover letters and pretend interviews. Besides learning the basics of what to wear and how to present yourself, it was always implied you brought your resume, with extra copies, along with your references.

To this girl's defense, after reading her resume (yes, I have the power to do that), it looks like this might even be her first real interview. The job she currently has, she had while in college as an internship, so I'll assume that she got that job just because a full time position once she graduated. But seriously, is it just me or does it seem crazy to not bring your resume?!?

But what do I know? I'm just the receptionist ;)

It's getting hot in here!

I love the summer. What I don't love is sitting in a lobby, with huge windows in front of me, staring at the gorgeous weather. It's 90 degrees, and altho everyone is complaining how gross it is outside, I'm so happy that summer is here. :)

One of the most interesting thing about working in a corporate office during summer is learning, and seeing, a lot more about your co-workers. Once the warm weather comes, the tattoos are revealed and the layers come off! I was in the lunch room, putting my sandwich together, when Annie walked in to the vending machine. Her shirt was a little to short to be tucked in and when she bent over to get her 100 calorie snack pack, I learned that she has a lovely tramp stamp! A pleasant start to my lunch break! Over the years, I've seen foot and ankle tattoos that have been hiding all winter, and was shocked to find out that our quiet, very professional, i-wear-a-suit-everyday corporate lawyer sports tattoos all over both his forearms, one on his calf and one around his ankle. I learned this due to Friday's casual day - and Mr. Lawyer wore a t-shirt and man shorts. I also hear his chest covered, and his upper arms as well, due to some people that saw him rock a tank top at the gym. No wonder he wears long sleeves everyday! I do find him to be a lot cooler now that I know he's covered in tats ;)

I'm also amazed by the amount of co-workers that come into work in the most inappropriate outfits during the summer. I'm all for short shorts, but to work? really? One lady came in wearing a halter dress, not that bad, right? Maybe pair it up with a cardigan to cover up? But I'll let it fly that she has nothing as a cover up because that's not the worst part. This lady isn't exactly flat chested, and I'm not even positive she's got a bra on. Now, I know it's hot out, and normally it'd be a cute summer dress, but that doesn't mean you should show off the goods to all your co-workers.

I also get to see a lot of female co-workers legs! Oh how the male population at the office must love this season - we get to see pale legs, hairy legs, stubby legs, thin legs, orange self tanner legs! everything! I usually don't tend to show my legs, I like to just wear pants year round because the AC is FREEZINGGG (and not to mention I'm not trying to impress anyone here at work), but on the very off chance that I decide a skirt is needed (and so far its happened only once), my legs were most definitely shaved. And, I don't go around announcing that I haven't shaved my legs in over a week. Gross, people!

Apparently there's also no rule on how short your skirt or dress can be. Our office is "business casual" but it seems once the weather turns nice its almost a game to see who can get away with wearing the least. I'm gonna bet I won't win this game ;)